grandma shit on top of the toilet
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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