I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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