Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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