My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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