Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
