So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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