Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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