The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
