i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
