ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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