Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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