Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I deserve this hangover.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
