The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize