I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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