found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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