idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
