no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
