it's like iHOP with fire
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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