Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
