I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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