is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
