im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
