Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
