remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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