Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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