Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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