4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
