The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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