Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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