so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
