I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
