I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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