thus making me awesome and them whores
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
