17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
soo... how was my night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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