so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
