She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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