We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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