in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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