Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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