I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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