do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
