Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
40s are totally the cure
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
