I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
