Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
