My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
