my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
