Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Bring me that man meat
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
