im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
