Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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