just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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