My Higher Power is John Stamos
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
