I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
