He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's blow job season.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
