Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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