clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We have started to decorate penises.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
