I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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