so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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