He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
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Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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