i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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