she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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