did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize