woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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