just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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